One Toke? You poor fool! Wait till you see those goddamn bats.

I am currently in the midst of reading Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Although I checked it out from the library because it has long been on my reading list, it is especially apropos today as friends are I are about to embark on a road trip of our own this Memorial Day weekend. There are any number of truly excellent lines from the book, many of which I would like to share with you here. But I won’t. The real reason that I am discussing the book is that as I was reading today, rolling papers fell out of the book. Rolling papers with adorable little pot leaves printed on them. I mean really could it get any more cliché? I get it already, it’s a book about drugs. No doubt the same person who left the papers used a live tiger as a bookmark when they were reading Life of Pi.

Spanking the Monkey

Recently an opportunity came across my plate to act as a meeting coordinator for an event taking place in Denver. This isn’t what I normally do, but since the day rate was semi-decent and I had nothing else going that day I decided what the heck. Wait a few days and receive the information packet/meeting materials that were sent to me. And the topic of the meeting is….. Porno! That’s right, porno porno porno. Actually it’s Pornography: Strategies for Helping Client’s Manage & Overcome the Addiction and it’s offered to Psychologists and other counselors in need of continuing education credits. And by continuing education I mean freaky Internet porn.

So today’s the big day, and as I type I’m sitting outside the Porno meeting room. All morning I’ve been expecting to hear a driving bass line and all sorts of shrieks of delight emanating from the room, but so far nothing (ball gags must be working – not that I know what a ball gag is of course, but I saw them on Pulp Fiction). The meeting is not a complete disappointment however – when I stepped inside the room a few minutes ago to see how things were going the first thing that I heard was “giant raging hard-on”. Naturally I started giggling (to myself - I am a professional after all). So basically the meeting is amusing, but sedate. I think it might need something to liven it up a bit (within reason of course). My thought is to have the hotel roll a trundle bed into the front of the room and leave it up by the presenter’s area. Nothing would be said or done – no overt porno references. Just a nice visual aid. What do you think?